The Quest; January

As with all people treading through the journey of life – of course we seek to become better people, to improve and advance ourselves to be the best we can be. I am no exception, though particularly on a not-so whim, I set 2016 to be the year where I truly change.

This would practically be on appearance, to drastically improve my skills be it coding and programming – passions that I’ve always enjoyed, and to dabble more in arts and other things. Take this as some sort of New Years resolution post, but instead of something that most people would drop within the first few weeks, it’s something that I wish and something that will stick to me. January was a month for self-realization. I wan to actually become better this year. I won’t just swear by some rules and attempt to go by them, breaking every single one in a short matter of time. I want this year to actually be the one, where I change for the better, with that change being drastically notable. After all, there is nothing that I want more than to be good enough, to be sufficient to everyone around me, to finally be looked upon as an equal. I have to change. And that’s going to happen, no doubt about it. I will change.

Unarbitrarily coming in hand with the notion of self-betterment is the question: what exactly do I wish to improve on? What am I doing to reach my goal? What else do I have in store for the future, and what are my further plans?

Goals

• Improve my study habits in preparation for the upcoming school year, and attempt to aim higher in the ranks.

I’m sometimes content with the way I perform, and it’s actually much above average but that’s not going to hinder my determination to do even better. Ever since I started seriously striving to do better a few months back, I found that it came along with better organizational and methodical skills, a strange lust and desire for a bunch of stationery. The former is truly helping me a lot, and I don’t know if I could say the same for the latter.

• Start to exercise and try a bit harder with my appearance. Be it with the clothing I wear, what I do to myself, etc.

As with all other people at the start of the year – but this is something that I’m actually planning to promise myself on. There’s only two years worth of high school left, and I wish to be the best that I can be. Being in the same school for years and growing up with everyone around me – I feel a distinct need to finally stand out and to perhaps bloom from the crowd. As prideful as it is to say, I’m sure there’s even a glint of potential in me, and I really wish to change for the better, or to pretty much get hotter by the start of the next school year.

• Drastically improve my coding and programming abilities – to become quite adept at Python, and to start working on game development and to conform better to web standards.

I constantly have ideas on things to make, I picture different things that I could potentially make but I’ve never quite acted on it. With Python, I wish to finally learn an actual programming language for once. There’s also game development – making a bunch of small minigames is pretty intriguing, I’ve spent some time experimenting with the classic RPG Maker XP, Ren’py for visual novels, and perhaps even Game Maker Studio (thank you Undertale.) Getting to improve and make my own creations would be astounding for me, as it’s something that I had always wanted to do. It would be some sort of a real dream come true.

• Learn the piano/keyboard! I am set to have lessons in the summer which I thoroughly hope pushes through, but if not, I’ll surely allot a good amount of time for self-study each day. And I have to stick to it.
• As with the above, continue learning Japanese. It’s been a bit difficult due to time constraints, moreover as the school year progresses. The good thing is, my break starts much earlier and this gives potential and way to work more on not just learning the language, but a bunch of other things as well, hooray!
• I’d also like to get better at media in general. Be it photography, videography, graphic design, typography (and calligraphy would be nice!) and the editing of such.

It’s something that I’ve always practiced on, but have never done seriously. Sure, I’ve done so when necessary, for my website and for projects when requested of me. This time, I’d like to do it with sheer determination, enthusiasm with the prospects of putting my creative ideas and mind into action, and the gratification of making something that is perhaps of actual use – whether it be entertainment, something actually resourceful, or anything else.

• Finally, keep up with my bullet journal.

This is much more simple than the rest of the bullets, but it’s been helping me a lot and perhaps for the first time – I would actually finish a notebook. It’s really fun to work on, sometimes I just find myself forgetting to use it, which is essentially on most days without school. Hopefully I could stick to it during the summer.

Dreams

Coming with the website and all this writing and release of ideas and concepts, is the desire to see growth somehow. Of course, the primary duty of running this very thing itself is to serve as another tool for self-betterment, but it would also be nice to establish some sort of web presence. Skill alone isn’t enough to net yourself great things – which is some sort of sad truth. I’m not sure how I’m going to do this – it’s not as if I’m going to focus on marketing myself or anything, but it would truly be helpful in the long run. Moreso if I henceforth continue my dream into pursuing a technology-related course, there’s simply much more you can do when you have connections and people who actually act as your audience. It’s already thrilling to be able to vent and release all of these things, even when I know it’s at the moment – just made for me, but to know that perhaps, the content I produce is interesting and worthwhile, and to know that I’m doing something for the good of others as well, would be amazing.

What Else?

I’ve aimed for quite a lot already, but of course, I am restless and on a constant pursuit for greatness, or at least above-averageness.

I… would like to watch a lot more anime. Maybe my self-proclaimed title as a weeaboo isn’t that deserved, but in truth, I really haven’t watched much anime! I’m looking forward to watching more shitty slice-of-life ones with lots of good waifus and fanservice, as well as psychological ones. Boku Dake Ga Inai Machi in particular has been a winter season favorite. For some strange reason, I simply find myself more engrossed in anime than in other shows, which may be depressing depending on how you look at it, but I swear, I’m not a weeaboo.

Art is something that I want to improve on too! Additionally, calligraphy as I’ve mentioned earlier on. I have some decent art materials, with watercolour and gouache being mediums that I wish to focus on. I’ll be sure to attempt to become somewhat decent at the medium, painting whenever I can, as I’ve always enjoyed it and found it relaxing. Calligraphy is something that’s been leaving me speechless for a while, and in my few attempts to be somewhat decent at it I’ve scoffed and laughed at my clear ineptitude at it, but that doesn’t mean that I am giving up! In addition to making things look prettier, it would aid a lot with graphic design.

If I have time, I’m interested into making simple songs too. By that, I mean fiddling around with digital audio workstations and praying that I get something that sounds somewhat decent. (Thank you Matthew.)

For sure, I’ll be trying to develop small minigames, no matter how stupid or blind using the aid of RPG Maker XP, Ren’py, my limited programming skills, and my deathly horrid digital art skills (I lost my tablet pen which ranks it a bit more than ‘deathly horrid’, buying a new one is also a priority of mine; note that down.) I’m also looking to collaborate with others in doing so, and I’m excited to see what I would be coming up with!

My quest and toil to improve is truly endless, but I truly swear that this year is going to be the first year of a lot of changes. I’ve been sick of staying as the same stationary, consistent me – I seek to improve. I seek to get better. And as long as I have that motivation, the constant light and reminder which keeps me same, the same reason why I willingly get out of bed in the morning and see something worthwhile in the prospect of living – I swear that I will get better, and this year, I will make things happen.